Anger Management 101. Three ways to quench the fire.

Ever been so mad that you want to punch a hole in the wall, but you don’t because:

1.  It would hurt.  Ouch.
2. You might hit a stud in the wall and that would hurt worse.  Double ouch.
3. If you did manage to punch a hole, you’d have to pay someone to patch it.  Triple ouch.

So what to do with all that anger?

Here’s what NOT to do:

DON’T: Stuff your feelings down.  Maybe you think being angry is somehow reflective of a flaw in your character and is a sin, etc.  Not true.  It is simply a human emotion-everyone experiences anger sometimes, and like any emotion if it is continually ignored or dismissed, it can cause physical and mental issues.  Short term results can be a head and stomach ache, but long term you could form an ulcer or worse all caused by the stress of bottling your anger up.  Not worth it.  Remember that anger is not it itself ‘bad’ and it is often justified by what someone else did to hurt you.  It is how you let anger express itself that can become a problem.  More on that later.

DON’T: Explode on everyone around you.  Sometimes the first person you see becomes the target for unleashing your anger, despite the fact they had nada to do with the cause.  Anger is truly blind when you are in the heat of it.  Get control of your emotions for the moment and plan your release for a more sane time and place-and for the guilty person!

BTW, don’t make the lame excuse that you can’t help yourself.  Everybody knows that if Billy Graham came walking through your door, the whole family, including you, would magically turn into complete angels.  You CAN control your emotions.

So don’t stuff the feelings down but don’t let them out whenever you feel like it either.  Sounds like a conflict, huh?  How can you tame the angry beast inside?

ONE: Do something physical and immediate to relieve some of your anger.  When you are completely angry and feel like you are losing control, do something that involves strength and/or sweat.  Go for a run, drop down and do a plank, lift a dumbbell or just do some push ups leaning against a wall.   I would NOT punch a pillow at this point if you are around people.  It is too easy for your actions to be misunderstood, and Mr. Po Po might be your next visitor on a 5150 charge.  (Good gosh, Google it.  Don’t you listen to country music???)

TWO: Think, very rationally, about what, why and who made you mad and what needs to happen to make it right again.  What exactly occurred?  Was there anything that could have been misunderstood on your part?  Is there anything you need to do to fix this?  Did the person have intent to do you wrong or were they just clumsy, careless, or simply made a mistake?  Is this a pattern on their part?  What does this person need to do in order to fix this?

THREE: Handle the situation now.  Don’t waste your time stewing about how you were wronged or complaining over and over about this ‘jerk’ to your buddies.  It is easy to chew on hurt feelings for too long and it hurts no one but you.  It also tends to make an angry situation become an explosive situation.  Anger is OK to express, just do it wisely.  Let the person know how angry you are, but also let them know why and what they need to do to fix it.  Go ahead and get the situation handled (see post on forgiveness).  Then move on with your life.

And you can always drop down into another plank if you are still feeling angry.  It’s good for you anyway, Summer coming and all.