By Lisa
In the movie Roadhouse, Patrick Swayze tells his staff of bar bouncers to “be nice, until it’s time to not be nice.” Do you find yourself spending a whole lot of time reading comments online and getting madder and madder at the stupidity of folks who don’t share your opinions? Is there ever a time online when it is not the time to be…nice?
If you are reading this, you are likely not the kind of person who has a bitchy personality. That’s good because there are plenty of folks who are. Just take a look in the comments section of any political post on Facebook. Look at the comments for any post no matter what side of the aisle and you will see a worked up keyboard warrior who gets a thrill out of making snarky comments to strangers in the name of whatever sudo-hurt feelings have been triggered. And yes sometimes there are fake accounts where folks get paid to do so, but more often than not it is just some random person sitting at home in the dark angrily banging away at their keyboard instead of having civil conversations face to face. But that’s not you, right?
Maybe you just keep quiet, read comments about different topics and are not sure when or if to jump in the red-hot conversational soup. And you are wise to do so. There is nothing wrong with civil discourse but unfortunately, in this age of cyber-relationships, rational conversations have been replaced with meaningless arguing that dissolves quickly into name calling rather than consideration of facts and respect for differing perceptions.
So should you just remain quiet, rendered opinionless, sharing only well-scrubbed memes and cat videos online? Maybe. But it is darned hard to do so, especially if you feel yourself getting angry everytime you read comments. But before you throw yourself into that manic mosh pit, take a deep breath and consider:
- Does it really matter what someone else thinks, especially someone you don’t even (or barely) know? Yes, it is satisfying and anger-releasing to make a comment back to someone who has posted something you think is not true. But realize that everyone has different perceptions of ‘truth’ and any truth can be written into a very opinionated story, even in a national media source. Nowadays even those sources are questionable regarding simply reporting facts (facts, just the facts, Ma’am) and there are clear lines between each regarding their political leanings. Just take a look at a story on the same topic as reported on one media outlet versus another. And people tend to get their news from sources that mirror their own opinions, and that tends to skew our views even further. Online arguments tend to stay that way-arguments that do nothing to move either person in the other direction. The most valuable finite asset you have is your time, and wasting it arguing for the sake of arguing is, well, kind of stupid, right?
- Writing a comment online versus talking face to face can get ugly real fast, especially when there are strong opinions involved. A simple comment back to someone can be misconstrued very easily (think how easy it is to misunderstand a text message) and whenever you hit that ‘Send’ button your comments are saved and available forever. Even if you delete your comments later, someone somewhere could have a screenshot or some techy way to access deleted posts. Comments you wrote in a fit of anger will be embarrassing at best, and there have been a whole lot of folks who lost job offers, friends, and reputations because of old posts.
Choose to be ‘nice’ for your own sake, especially on social media. If you still want to jump into the fray, start a blog, or write an opinion letter to your local newspaper or join a local political party organization and make your opinion and time count. Save your political arguments for that relative who is always looking for a verbal wrestling match at the Thanksgiving table. Or skip it entirely and watch football instead!