By Dixie 
Ugh. An invitation to a wedding. An email inviting you to a party. A reception at your company. You won’t even know most of the people there and the ones you do know make you feel…tired. All you really want to do is snuggle with your dog on the couch and watch West Wing reruns until your eyes pop out. But duty calls and eventually you do need to get out of the house. Besides Fido steals your nacho Cheetos shamelessly and that orange dust gets everywhere.
So you RSVP ‘yes’ and immediately regret it. All those people, your brain will completely shut down and you’ll have nothing to say. You’ll keep a death grip on your Chardonnay and mumble something inane about the weather every other minute until you can leave. Maybe they will have a dog you can pet. Maybe you can stay in the bathroom all night?
Social events don’t have to be painful. Here are four simple ways to be able to talk to anyone about anything and enjoy it.
Prepare:
Plan what you are going to wear. Number one rule is to find something both appropriate and comfortable. Ask whoever invited you what most people will wear. This is not the time to wear cute shoes that kill your feet or pants that cut you in two when you sit down. Lay the whole outfit out on your bed with shoes and jewelry and ask yourself if wearing this would make you feel happy. If so, put it all in one place in your closet so all you will have to do on the day of the event is get dressed. It is amazing how this simple step will help you to be relaxed and confident before you even step out the door.
Mingle and keep the conversation light:
Find one person you know and head over. Ask a couple of simple, open-ended questions (non political, just something common and pleasant) like:
How was your weekend? What did you all do?
Did your family go out of town on vacation this year? Where did you go and was it fun?
Where do you work? What do you do?
How do you know the “people who are hosting the party, getting married, etc.”?
A few “Don’t’s”:
Don’t make it into an interview by asking question after question. This ain’t CNN. If other people are around, invite them into the conversation by asking them the same question. Make appropriate comments and keep the conversation pleasant and non confrontational. People love to talk about their vacations, jobs and weekends, even if to complain about how things didn’t go well. The majority of the time just listen–you will possibly make a new friend, but even if not you will learn something new from simply listening to people.
Don’t hang around the same person all night unless you came there together. When the conversation starts to drag, excuse yourself and head over to get a drink, go to the bathroom, or say hello to someone else. If you don’t see anyone else you know (or met), either go up to a group that looks friendly, talk to someone around the bar or food line or find someone who is by themselves and go over to talk to them. Ask the same kind of pleasant questions as above. Repeat.
Don’t approach someone of the opposite sex that you don’t know. People can get the wrong idea pretty quickly and you don’t want to put creepy stalker ideas in anyone’s head. If you are not in the market and want to avoid misunderstandings, talk to people of the same sex. Old fashioned? Yeah probably, but people are pretty sensitive re ‘stranger danger’ these days.
Don’t drink til you drop. This isn’t college where the goal was to down as much alcohol as possible so limit yourself to a couple of drinks over the evening. Drink club soda, water or cola between drinks if you want to carry something. The goal is to enjoy yourself, not to have people enjoy seeing you dance on a table. One word: Instagram. Second word: Snapchat. Third word: #EMBARRASSED.
Finally, know when to leave. Don’t be the first to leave or the last one to leave. Most events last two to three hours. Set your phone in advance to give you an alert for saying your goodbyes. Be sure to thank your hosts before you leave by shaking their hands, giving a brief hug and saying “Thank you for inviting me, I had a really good time.” A thank you note or email the next day is also very nice and shows that yo’ Mama did good.
Now, that wasn’t so bad was it? You had a good time, made some new buddies and don’t have an orange stained couch. Toss a Milkbone at Fido for being gone so long!