By Lisa 
When I was itty bitty, there was a fellow on our local radio station who ended each of his monologues with “Everybody got their own little sack of rocks to tote around with them”. And they do. No matter how perfect their life looks like on Instagram, or Facebook or in their annual sickeningly sweet Christmas newsletter, everybody has problems.
Just in my own little neck of the woods, I can think of several people I know of who are going through extremely rough times.
One is a sweet woman in my neighborhood who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. She tells me because she is only in her early 50’s, her diagnosis gives her an average of five years of life on this planet during which she will likely lose her mind. She has a daughter and a husband who are living this too. Every day they look for signs of decline. They love her and know someday, maybe soon, she will no longer recognize them. All of their lives are uncertain.
There is another woman who has a special needs child (autism and seizures) and her husband of 20 years recently left them. They are divorcing. She has stayed at home with her daughter all of her life and now will have to find work to supplement whatever she gets in the settlement. Her daughter needs structure in order to function, and nothing right now is consistent. Their future is uncertain.
A gentleman up the street has always been very active. For many years I have seen him walking all over the area, with his little dog on a leash. He had a minor knee surgery that went badly and now he is completely stiff legged on one side and cannot bend his knee anymore. The doctors don’t know if it can be fixed. His health is uncertain.
A new bride in her 20’s has discovered her husband is addicted to pornography. He is no longer attracted to her because she doesn’t look or act like the women on his computer. When they do get together, he increasingly has trouble and pressures her to do things she doesn’t want to do. She wants a family but is afraid of bringing a child into this mess, despite the pressure from the families. And after the cost of their huge wedding plus the embarrassment and inevitable questions, how can she possibly leave him? Her future is uncertain.
A prominent couple has a son in his early 20’s who is in his third rehab, after becoming addicted to painkillers prescribed after a high school football injury. They live in a nice home but it is highly mortgaged because they have had to borrow against it to finance his drug problem, attorneys for arrests and subsequent rehabs. All of their retirement savings are gone, and they live in fear of losing their jobs. Their futures are uncertain.
Another lady is in her 80’s and lost her husband at Christmas a couple of years ago. She had been married to him since her early 20’s and they rarely spent more than a day apart. She is incredibly lonely without him. Evenings are the worst because that is when they would come together after a long day of work, share a meal and watch a little TV. She finds it difficult and meaningless to cook anymore and there is no one to laugh or cry with. Christmas is a time she dreads because that is when her life changed. She feels like her old friends don’t want to see her because she only wants to talk about her grief. Her future happiness is uncertain.
Life can be good but it can also be painfully surprising. Health fades, a marriage is in trouble and ends either through choice or death.
They may project to the world is a perfect, happy life. But life isn’t perfect. It is good, most of the time, but we all go through some really, really hard stuff. Just because you don’t see someone’s pain doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
But despite the facade and the very real pain, they all keep going. One day at a time and sometimes one hour or one minute at a time but they keep going. They, we, all deserve some respect because of that.
This Thanksgiving, when you see your family and friends sitting around the table and someone brings up some meaningless political garbage or some long past hurts, please remember…everyone is going through something. Cut folks some slack…
Say grace this Thanksgiving…and give it.