By Lisa 
Today is the day two years ago when my Father died. I woke up this morning right about the time my Mother had called me back on that day, then again right about the time when the doctor entered the room at the ER to tell us he had passed. It was a very bad day.
The past two years have seemed a whole lot longer. At times I wondered why we were all still here without him-he was the lynch pin that held us together.
He wasn’t well towards the end, actually for the last year or so of his life he struggled with his back, his knees and the loss of his active life. He loved being out at the grocery store, the golf course, anywhere. I remember before his back surgery he said he hoped maybe he could play golf again. That didn’t happen and the surgery didn’t cure anything. Bodies fall apart, people die and families are shattered. Life happens.
Things change. That is what surprised me the most. I thought, way down somewhere in the optimistic part of my soul, that everything would always be the same, nothing bad ever happened that couldn’t be fixed and time would make it all better. I was wrong.
He is gone, we are still here and I worry a lot. I worry about Mama, her health and well being, I worry about family we don’t see as often as we did, I worry about society and the world, money, crime, addiction, depression, weight, aging skin, sickness and death. I worry mostly about change. But it all happens anyway.
But there are lights in the dark. I have learned that there are people who are incredibly sweet, like my fellow’s daughter who brought me flowers this morning and made me cry. She told me she loved me, that she was thinking about me, gave me the most beautiful sparkly poinsettia and left.
I remember the cards, flowers, Facebook posts, emails and phone calls that day and week two years ago. I remember being surprised at the friends who checked on me, stood next to me and asked about my Mama. All lights in the dark.
Loss and grief is real and no, it doesn’t go away. But life does go on and we are still here. We either get busy dying or get busy living.
I know what Poppy would want us to do.
Focus on the lights, not the dark. Be grateful and happy for the memories and a life well lived. Life and death bring changes, and we can’t go backward. So we must go forward.
Last night I saw a shooting star. I believe he was telling me yet again that he is alright. I know he is. I also know we will see him again someday. That is a blessing. A light in the dark.