By Dixie 
“Find out who unfriended you” the sponsored post reads. You notice your new Facebook friend acts quite unfriendly when you happen to meet at the grocery store. A guy you knew in high school sends a “glad to be your friend” private message, then another one, then another one. And he appears to want to get much friendlier, despite his “married” status.
Social media is supposed to be fun isn’t it? Kind of stress relieving and a way to connect with people past and present, right? So why are your connections turning out to be so…antisocial???
There is an an unwritten etiquette to Facebook. No one talks about it or even knows all it entails, but it is there. A few pointers (based on my own goof-ups):
Just met a new couple? Only friend request the person in the couple who is the same sex as you are. I know this sounds very old school but you will avoid a whole lot of problems by sticking to this rule. What you do not want to do is friend request both of them at the same time, and have just the opposite sex person friend you and the other not accept. #Awkward. Maybe she doesn’t use FB very often, or she simply doesn’t want to connect but I guarantee she would not like her hubby and you being buddies without her knowledge. Also, it could also signal something quite different to him than you meant by a simple friend request. He may think you are on the hunt and he is the prey, willing or unwilling.
If it is a couple you have known a while, this is still a good rule. I do have a male friend who is part of a couple and she is not on FB, HOWEVER, I keep any interaction very surface level and general, no instant messaging, and I make sure to let her know any interaction along the lines of “what a great picture of your family your hubby posted yesterday” etc. It is all about respect and accountability.
Reading a post by a FB friend that has your blood boiling and you really, I mean really, want to smoke bomb ’em with a response? Don’t do it. FB can become a nasty little battlefield when you are safely behind your sanctimonious keyboard. There is something about not being face to face that takes away good judgement and manners. Be aware of this, and realize that no one changes their opinions based on a snarky response to a post. It will just erode and destroy any virtual or real relationship you have with that person. Ain’t nobody winning that war. Just get off your hind, close the laptop, swipe that app off the Ipad, and take a walk away from the battleship console. K?
This is true also, BTW, for a blood boiling response to someone you don’t know who is responding to a mutual friends’ post. It is embarrassing and quite ridiculous for your friend to see two people they know getting into a written tee-tee contest in the comments of a post they started. Kind of like seeing your kids fighting in public. Nada good times and zero return on your investment. Take a deep breath and back away.
Want to post or repost something political? Or any other touchy subject? Do so at your own risk and expect to lose some friends. No one will change their mind (especially their political mind) based on some news (fake or no) that expresses a political leaning. If you really want to make your affiliation known, there is a place in the “about” area of your profile you are most welcome to fill in. I am betting your real friends are very aware of your affiliation anyway, and the others don’t give a rats hiney. If you are bursting inside to get your feelings out, start a blog. Then the people who are interested in your point of view can voluntarily read it rather than have posts shoved in their faces on their newsfeeds.
Can’t get out of a messenger conversation? Maybe someone misinterpreted your friend request (see above) and thinks you are single and ready to mingle. Or another friend is terribly chatty online and you have things to do. It’s really simple to end the conversation- use an emoji. Use something bland like a happy face, an OK hand signal or sad face and you have the universal symbols for “see ya later alligator”. It will get you out of a goodbye war. “Bye!”. “See ya’ later”. “Love ya'”. “You too”. “OK I am signing off now”. “Me too!”. “Bye again!”. “LOL”. Sigh.
And puh-leeze if you are in a group message (and you have my sympathies) do NOT get in a side conversation and hit reply all. Of all that is good and holy, please do not. I was unhappily in one that went on for two danged days because of one person who apparently woke up at 5am to start the danged chatty text wars and glued her fingers to the keyboard for the entire weekend. #mercyhowdoiturnoffnotifications
Got a hankering to repost a “share if you care or scroll if you don’t” or “I bet I won’t even get one like” post, a game request or some other such nonsense? Please do the rest of humanity a favor and throw your Ipad in the toilet. No. Just no. Please. No. No one wants that teensy pang of guilt for scrolling past Jesus without sharing, along with the lingering annoyment with you for posting it. And BTW, no one really is winning on those slot machines and those aren’t real cows in Farmville.
And if all this fails and your friend count is still dwindling, maybe it is time to ditch the FB virtual world find some real live, honest to goodness face to face buddies. If you can find anyone looking up from their phones that is. 