Love sometimes ain’t grand: 3 ways to help you survive a break up

It happens to EVERYONE.  And it hurts.  Really badly.  I know.

You can’t eat.  You can’t sleep.  Your mind is constantly spinning with vicious head movies of good times, what she said, what you said, what you both should’ve said, arguments and the “I think we need to see other people” talk.   You have been dumped.  It is all you can think about.

I’ve been there.  Anyone over the age of 20 probably has.  And no matter what side of the “I think we should see other people” talk you are on, you will, I assure you, be on the other side sometime in your life.  But for now that pain is very real, it hurts and it is all consuming.   I can’t take away your pain, but I can give you some real truths that will help:

1. This pain will NOT last forever.  It really won’t.  One day you will smile a little at something, and one day you will laugh and enjoy life again.  It will happen sooner than you think.
2. The person who broke up with you is NOT the only person in the world for you.  I promise.  I really promise.  Someday you WILL look back and be very, very happy this happened.

Now for some advice on how to get through this painful time.

1:  Let yourself cry and grieve for what you had hoped this relationship would be.  It’s OK.

But also do yourself a favor.  Do one big, snotty-nosed, ugly-faced cry, then set an actual hour each day to cry and feel sorry for yourself (from 8:30pm-9:30pm for example).  No crying or pity parties allowed unless it is within this time period.

Anytime you really want to let loose, remind yourself that you intend to cry at this particular time.  I know this sounds crazy.  But, I promise you that if you do this, there will be occasions where you actually forget to cry during your scheduled time period.  Those occasions will become more and more frequent and eventually you will forget about it entirely.

2:  Duct tape your hand to the floor before you text, email or call your ex.  Do NOT attempt to convince that person what a great guy or girl you are and that they are so very wrong about breaking up with you.  It. Will. Not. Work.  I guarantee you.  At most you might get a pity date out of it, but that is all.

Delete the phone number from your cell phone, unfriend or unfollow on social media.  Do it now.  You can always get it back if you need to (you know that).  Please get a friend you can call anytime to talk you out of it should you need to.

If you ever do get back with your ex in a HEALTHY relationship, it will be because that person sees evidence of what a great person and fine catch you are.  Period.  Not because you whined and cried your way back in their life.  Nope.  You absolutely must come from a position of strength.

3:  Get busy.  No, you don’t feel like it.  Yes, you would rather sit at home in your jammies and wallow in self pity.  But remember, you get to do that once a day at your specified hour, right?  Life is meant to be lived.  Go out with friends, have lunch, join a gym, do whatever make you happy NOW.  Stay so busy that you forget that pity party hour.

I promise you it will get better.  I promise.