By Dixie I often wish Mark had met my parents.
My little Mama had passed the year before we met and Poppy a few years before. They would have loved him. I know they will meet him in Heaven, but I sure would have liked to see Mark and my Poppy around their kitchen table watching the Braves, cussing Tiger Woods and clinging to hope watching Ga Tech football. Poppy always put out a couple of snacks on the table, usually Planters Dry Roasted peanuts, a bag of Lay’s potato chips, some Cheezits and boiled peanuts.
Mark has a lot in common with my Poppy, but one thing that is odd is that he doesn’t like boiled peanuts. How can that be? Mark is as Southern as they come, but a boiled peanut is not his thing. I’m working on that. Plus mac and cheese. What’s not to like? Pasta and orange powdered cheese. Mmmm.
Pop loved sports, any sports. Mark too. Maybe not curling, but I believe that is because it reminded them about sweeping floors. I have that aversion as well, as evidenced by the many dog-hair dust bunnies stuck to our baseboards.
Both played golf. I would have loved seeing them ride off in a cart together laughing. I suspect the 19th hole would have been their favorite and very loud.
Pop, like Mark, preferred Ga Tech over UGA. I suspect Pop liked GA Tech because everybody else in the free world preferred a winning team. Pop liked to root for the underdog, if nothing else other than arguing rights.
If some sport wasn’t scheduled or rained out, Matt Dillon was always available. Pop liked Westerns, old black and white movies, as well as Gunsmoke, Bonanza and that other show with Chuck Conners that starts out with him using a pump shot gun (pow, pow, pow). BTW, there are two glorious day a year where there are no professional sports, right before and after the Baseball All Star game, thankfully including professional basketball which is both tedious and endless. Kind of like curling, but it is continuously televised. Back and forth, back and forth, screech, screech, screech. Ugh.
They have other similarities:
Mark cannot stand gum. There is no chewing around him and he can smell it a mile away. Pop was the same way.
Mark and Pop are exactly the same height and weight. And with gigantic shoes.
Pop got the black eyes and rounded eyebrows when hangry or annoyed, like Mark. In their defense the annoyed part was likely when I was asking multiple rabbit hole questions like “how do silkworms make thread, and how many does it take to make a shirt”. Pop would just shake his head and ignore me. Mark is getting there, but we are still newlyweds, so he still listens. Kinda.
Both Mark and I believe our loved ones in Heaven were involved in bringing us together. I don’t know if that is considered Biblical for some folks, but it gives me a lot of comfort to think about it. Mark had lost his Mama many years ago, and his son the year before we met and I had lost my Mama, Pop and sister in law Kay.
I wish I had known Mark’s Mama and son. But I will. Someday.
After my Poppy passed, I would take long walks most days and think about him. Pop was often the strong silent type when it came to emotions, more of a ‘show me’ than ‘tell me’. Every couple of days I found these heart-shaped rocks. I believe this was the way Pop showed me he was still around and I was loved.
When Mama passed a few years after Pop, I looked, but didn’t get heart shaped rocks. I did notice several cardinal families live right outside my office window. I had never noticed them before. I can see them in the bushes whenever I write. A Mama sighting!
The first time I visited Mark’s house and met his two doggos, Lola and Gracie. We became good buddies right from the get go. Lola is my little Diva Dog who rules her immediate area with a fierceness that doesn’t match her size. Her little mouth won’t open wide enough to bite another dog but it is not for lack of trying. I am convinced she is part badger. I am also convinced if my little Mama had met Lola, that doggo would never walk again because she would be carried around for the rest of her days. Mama was also a feisty one, who worked in a rough and tumble work environment as the only female, but she also ruled the roost. She too was little but fierce and she would have adored my Lola-Pie.
Gracie was Mama’s stamp of approval. All my life, Mama would talk about how much I loved Lassie when I was little. Gracie looks just like Lassie. As soon as I saw her, I knew Mama was giving me a sign: not a heart-shaped rock but the world’s biggest Sheltie that looks like a collie.
Mama and Pop had a good marriage. They were like salt and pepper shakers, always together. When I was little, they would have date nights and would dress up and go to the Moose Club for dinner and dancing. Mama wore long dresses and gloves back then. When I was in college, they would rush home every day to have lunch together and watch The Young and The Restless. Later they got golf-fever and went on golf trips with the Ladies and Men Associations and finally Seniors Golf. They both retired in their 50’s and enjoyed another 30 plus years together.
I didn’t seem to get the ‘Lucky in Love’ gene, at least until a couple of years ago when I met Mark.
I could imagine my Mama and Pop up in Heaven, soon after her arrival, talking about me:
“Carolyn, I am glad you finally got here but somebody has look out for Lisa. She’s just going to get more dogs and cats and she said she is OK with being alone. She’s going to ruin that house and be by herself!”
“I know that Jack! And I heard she has said she is fine with that. But she also said she would like to experience love and marriage. I want her to know the kind of love we had. I’m new here. How are we able to help?”
“We can ask Jesus to let us help pick her a husband. Otherwise she is just going to continue to make the same mistakes and she isn’t getting any younger.”
“It’s going to be scary for her. She will overthink and second guess everything. You know how stubborn she is! We will need to leave her some pretty big clues.“
And they did. Hearts and cardinals. Collies and Fierce Divas. A man like my Daddy with a good, good heart.
A couple of days before our wedding, I wrote this for our Memory Table.
They were there. All of them.
***
You were in the wind today, weren’t you?
And in the sunshine on the lake
You were in the trees looking around at old friends and family
You are here with us now.
You were there when we both prayed for comfort and peace last year
You were there when we almost lost hope in goodness and joy and of ever finding love again
You were there when we both whispered to God, “OK, I’ll try one more time.”
You were there when we saw each other for the first time
You rejoiced when you saw us break into smiles
You were there when we both knew that something very special had happened.
We both believe you whispered a blessing for us in the Father’s ear that day.
We were blessed in knowing you on this side of Heaven.
We are blessed in knowing we will see you again
Thank you…for everything
Love always and forever, Lisa and Mark
