By Lisa 
Facebook Fans: Ever clicked on your notification called “See Your Memories”? It shows any status update you had posted for that date within the past several years. You have some funny memes, pictures of vacations and dinners, and friend and family updates, right?
Does it also remind you of times you were worried about something bad happening? Most times nothing bad ever happened, but sometimes it did.
Life is full of risk. It’s messy and sometimes random things happen, both good and bad. But there are some simple things you can do to minimize the leading causes of bad stuff happening (and you don’t have to swaddle yourself in bubble wrap and hide under your bed). The goal is to do your part to get more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff. Here’s how:
Minimize accidents:
Put your cell phone in the back seat. Don’t be tempted to check a text, look at Facebook, Snapchat the temperature etc. Think of how many times you have swerved or seen other people swerve into the other lane. It’s a growing cause of death, dismemberment, paralysis and regular good folks like yourself being jailed for vehicular homicide.
Stay aware and awake. Make it a point to keep both hands on the wheel (10 and 12 o’clock-remember those Drivers Ed classes??). Keep your eyes on the road and anticipate where other drivers are going. Stay alert because most other folks do NOT have their cell phones in the backseat. Never drive impaired and that means stoned, drunk, buzzed or even just sleepy. Call an Uber, a Yellow cab, a friend, yo Mama…you get the point. A little inconvenience now may give you another birthday later, and besides you can text and Snapchat when you are stopped and waiting for your ride!
Minimize criminal attacks:
Keep doors locked, car and house and put valuables out of sight. Most criminals look for a simple target so they can enter quickly, steal and leave. If your door is locked and nothing interesting can be seen through the window they will likely move on to someone else. Get an alarm system at your house and use it, or at least make a few simple stickers on your printer that says something like Gorilla Alarm Company and a fake phone number on it and put it in your window. Thieves ain’t too smart BTW.
When alone, stay in lighted areas, look around at your surroundings and project confidence. The bad guys, again, are looking for an easy mark. They like dark corners, distracted victims (like texting and walking), and people who look like they wouldn’t put up a fight. Ladies, keep your purse close to your body like a football and walk quickly and confidently at all times. Mace or pepper spray is something to always keep close by and accessible (side pocket of purse, in hand, in pocket, etc. You can buy pepper spray at a sporting goods store, hardware store, gun store.) Do NOT engage in conversation with a strange person who approaches you, even if they look harmless. Bad people sometimes work in pairs and you never know who is lurking behind a car. Just hold your hands up, keep walking and say “I can’t help you.” Don’t be ‘nice’ and get yourself hurt. It is better to be safe than sorry.
If they follow, tell them you are calling 911 and keep moving. If threatened, mace the heck out of them and run. Never, never, never allow them to take you away in a car. If you are being carjacked, throw the keys out the window, get out and run. Fight!
Please note: if you feel comfortable carrying a gun for protection, please make sure you get a concealed gun permit, take a gun safety class from your local police, know where you can and can’t take your weapon and make sure you practice safe shooting and handling at your local gun range. Remember to never put your finger on the trigger unless you are ready and willing to shoot. Know the law about when it is OK to shoot an intruder.
And always, always know where your gun is at all times. Keep it locked up (and unloaded) if you are away and when you have visitors (especially children). Educate your family. Gun ownership is a heavy responsibility.
Minimize health risks:
Wash your hands before meals and after using the restroom, especially a public one. While washing, sing all the verses of Happy Birthday so you don’t just splash germs around on your hands. (Lawd, sing it in your head, not out loud so the men in the little rubber truck don’t come to carry you away). You will greatly lower your risk of catching colds, getting food poisoning, etc. No one likes worshiping the porcelain God after enjoying a juicy FatBurger with fried onion rings.
Speaking of FatBurgers….90% of the time, eat stuff your great grandmother would have recognized. Stay away from the “processed, prepackaged, add water and some microwaves” food. You can treat yourself once a month or even once a week with some junk, but don’t make Frankenstein food your mainstay. Your body won’t get what it needs and you won’t feel as good as you were meant to feel. Short term, your body will become more susceptible to diseases if not properly nourished, long term even more so as toxins from processed junk builds up in your body.
Do something physical every day. Park the car out a little further, take the stairs at work, go see a colleague instead of email, run around the block with your young un’ after dinner, lift some weights, etc. Find something physical you like to do and incorporate just moving your body more throughout the day.
Use sunscreen every day. Make it part of your morning routine to put sunscreen on your face (there are kinds specifically for your face that won’t clog your pores). Use it on your arms, hands, and wherever gets suneven if just through a car window. Skin cancer ain’t nutin’ to mess with. If you like the look of a tan, I can promise you will tan through the sunscreen anyway. I am living proof of that and look like an Oom Pah Loom Pah by August despite bathing daily in 30SPF. (Good gosh, didn’t you watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory??? Not the one with Jim Carrey–I thought he looked kind of scary.)
So, when you live safely to be 110 with nary a wrinkle on your face, you can thank me. I’ll be the orange lady at the gym eating a (dark) chocolate bar and wearing a sunhat.