By Dixie 
“I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof” Psalm 102:7 NLT
Sunday night. The universal night for everyone to start dreading Monday morning. Not much on TV, unless you count that long running news show that seems to get more and more depressing each year. The weekend is over and the work problems you cheerfully (or forcefully) put out of your mind Friday are sitting in a big black cloud over your head tonight.
And you are alone too. Even if you have a house full of family, or are single but not mingled, feeling alone is everyone’s problem. We have all been there.
You can be alone but not lonely, sure. But loneliness is that gut wrenching feeling that no one really gets you, no one really cares about your feelings and you are facing a mountain of worry…alone. It sure would be nice if someone would be there to help you, to care, to solve your problems. But there isn’t…
Maybe you are the sole provider for your family and you feel like you are just a wallet. Or you are the worker bee who takes every chore, every project, everybody else’s stuff and fixes it, and no one notices unless you don’t. Maybe you are married, but don’t feel the love, respect or even kindness you once did. Maybe your kids are teenagers, nuff said.
Being taken for granted is lonely.
Maybe you are a kid who doesn’t understand the new feelings that come with middle school, how mean some kids can be, or how different from everyone else you feel. Maybe you have tried and tried to lose weight but you keep gaining, and you have stopped going anywhere so you don’t have to see people staring or saying mean comments. Maybe you are addicted to the prescription painkiller given to you after your shoulder surgery last year and you are afraid to tell anyone. Maybe your son is still on your couch at age 30 and everyone else’s kids have wives, grandbabies and great careers. Maybe your money never makes it until the end of the month and bill collectors are starting to call so you jump to get to the phone before your kids do.
Feeling ashamed is lonely.
Maybe you are single and scared you will be that way forever. Maybe your marriage is breaking up or your kid is on drugs again. Maybe there are layoffs at work and you will probably be next. Maybe you are a widow who fills the hours watching TV or reading Facebook, and you feel scared for your own safety and for the safety of your kids and grand kids in this scary world.
Fear is lonely.
To be human is painful sometimes. No one escapes the feeling of loneliness when you think no one understands or wants to help, or cares. No one escapes feeling unappreciated, ashamed, and scared. Sometimes loneliness is simply wanting someone to care and to help solve your problems.
But ultimately, it has to begin with you.
What can you do when you are overwhelmed with feeling unappreciated, ashamed or afraid…and alone? Take some action…
Take a deep breath. Realize and understand that these feelings happen to everyone. Every. Single. Person. Sometimes the person who looks like they have it all is the person who cries every time they are in the shower. Sometimes the person who looks so wealthy and put together spent 30 extra minutes this morning applying makeup to bruises from falling down drunk the night before. We all go through something sometimes and usually a lot of the times. Give yourself a break and give others a break. You, and everyone around you, are human.
Give yourself a healthy outlet. The very best thing you can do is to do something physical that makes you sweat. Stuffing your feelings down is like blowing into a balloon that is already filled. Eventually it (and you) will burst. Exercise will help your body to release tension, calm your mind out of the endless loop of negative self talk and allow you to think clearly. Fair warning, you will likely not want to exercise. Make yourself. Put one foot in front of the other and take a walk. Punch a pillow. Jump rope, do push ups, run in place. Do anything that will get your heart rate going in a positive way. Just do as Nike says…
Write it down. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On the left side, bullet point what you are unappreciated for or afraid or ashamed of. On the right side, put down some solutions. Get another piece of paper and write down some action steps for the upcoming week. What can you do or ask others for? Put some due dates next to each. Just this simple exercise will help. Pinky promise.
Then work on your loneliness tonight by helping someone else. Phone a friend, go see a widowed neighbor, visit a nursing home. They are probably feeling the same way. Tell them what you are going to do to make your own Sunday nights better from now on. Invite them to join you for a walk (or a push) next Sunday.
Make yourself better, and make the world a less lonely place