By Lisa 
Love starts out selfishly.
You fall in love with someone who you are attracted to, someone who makes you feel better about yourself and life in general. That’s OK. The endorphins are flowing and everything is right with the world.
But humans will be human and when we begin to show our not so lovable side, we can easily fall out of this self-centered love. Many people spend their whole lives falling in and out of love, never finding ‘Mr. (or Mrs.) Right’.
Is there a Mr. or Mrs. Right for everyone? What if yours decided to join a monastery a while back, or the Peace Corp and is living halfway around the world? What if your true love didn’t wait for you at all and married someone else?
In a romantic novel, some sort of happy accident would bring you and your ‘split apart’ together, no matter the odds. Maybe that will happen. Maybe that is supposed to happen but it sure seems like there are an awful lot of folks out there who are single and ready to mingle but the only one to show up is Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right. Sigh.
True love is hard. That puppy love feeling can disappear pretty quickly when there is too much month left at the end of your money, the car payment is due and he just bought a new grill to add to the four other ones rusting in the yard. The baby was crying all night, and your wife is too worn out to pay attention to you after you had a terrible day at work and she is wearing the same baby spit covered sweatshirt she had on yesterday. And remember that week when you both had the stomach flu and the cat’s litter box needed scooping. Good times.
Human beings are going to disappoint you and you are going to disappoint them, no matter how much you love each other. Part of this is because we have our own expectations for how others should act, choose and live their lives. Another part is that the other person has the free will to make their own choices. When you love someone, those choices will impact you as well as the person making them. And oh, by the way, life is messy, complicated and exhausting sometimes. A lot of the times.
Love is a choice, not a never-ending puppy love feeling. Staying together is the choice you make together when love (and life) becomes real. The falling in love kind of feelings do come back and leave, and come back over the years but added together with a life experienced together become a strong and beautiful tapestry.
The goal? Becoming Mr. and Mrs. Right.