By Dixie 
Ever been around a two year old who is having a screaming, kicking, crying, fighting melt down? It’s usually over something crazy like being mad the banana wouldn’t fit back into the peel, or because he couldn’t close his toy box because his feet were in it. My nephew once had a cray cray fit because I flushed his poo down the toilet and I wouldn’t bring it back up (believe me I wouldn’t if I could’ve). Tee hee.
And guess what? Even if it was over something not so crazy, the end result is the same. The person he was trying to convince was even more inclined NOT to do what he wanted.
Caveat: I know you parent types sometimes give in to toddler demands and let them watch an extra hour of Sponge Bob. No judging here. Sanity is important! I did promise to buy my nephew another Teen-aged Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure. Guilty as charged.
But a two year old having a fit is one thing. An out of control adult is another. The person gets frustrated and angry that others don’t think or behave how they want them to and they throw an adult tantrum: screaming, throwing things, etc. Sometimes it can escalate into physical violence or destroying property. An adult tantrum can become very dangerous very quickly.
In the end where does it get you? Maybe you blow off a little steam. But, when it is all over, the anger is still there. And the person you want to change still..hasn’t changed. No one changes their minds and hearts because someone screamed at them. Just doesn’t happen.
What else happens when you become out of control?
- You lose your freedom and money. If you do something illegal, you will likely wind up in jail, paying a fine or even losing your job.
- You lose the respect of those people who may think like you, but remained in control of their emotions. No one wants to associate with someone who allows their heart to rule their head. It is embarrassing and dangerous.
- You lose the opportunity to actually sway the opinions and actions of that person you want to treat you differently. Most people (unless they are out of control themselves) just want to live their lives and want others to live their lives too–peacefully and happily. Just like you want to as well.
Yes, life is unfair. Yes, some people don’t seem to even care that it seems more unfair to you than to them. At the end of the day most people are truly just thinking of how they are going to survive their week, their jobs, their money, their family life. Yes, people are selfish that way. That is reality. It is maddening and frustrating, but screaming and violence is never going to work. When people get scared, they are even less likely to listen to what you have to say. You cannot force people to care.
So what can you do?
People learn more from seeing not hearing. Be the bridge in the gap between people who think like you and people who don’t. Extend your hands to others and start real face to face friendships. Open and run a successful business, run for political office and work for change. Be the leader so others can see your example and follow you. Stay calm and work towards a better future.
Change won’t be immediate but it will happen over time, little by little, as we all start to see that we are all just…people.